Leaving that Super Duper Fun Place Tantrum-FREE

Isn't she so cute?

Kids are sweet, thoughtful, kind, and always tell the truth.
Until they don’t.

You go to the park, let them play for an hour, and now it’s time to go home. Your sweet child begins to scream and flails their body on the ground. Sound familiar?

Here are steps on how to get those tantrums to stop when leaving the park, friend’s house, restaurant, grocery store, or where ever sweet little Timmy hates to leave.

1. Give them control in areas that do not affect you:  Closely, look them in the face and ask, “Do you want to leave now or leave in 5 minutes?” Of course they say “5 minutes!”

WAIT! Don’t let them run away, hold them there and ask, “How will you behave in 5 minutes? Will you leave happy or leave sad?”

2. Show them you EXPECT them to listen: When it’s time to go, look them in the face (or else they say, ‘I didn't hear you’) and tell them ONCE, “It’s time to go.” IMMEDIATELY turn away from them and walk to your car. If the tantrum begins, do not respond to their protests, do not look at them, ignore them completely and keep walking. Open their door for them, get in your own seat, buckle up, start the car.

3. Physical discipline speaks louder than words: When children are small I am a huge fan of disciplining physically instead of vocally.  No, don’t go hit your kids, that’s not what I mean. Sheesh.

I mean, If at any point you are going to be out of sight during this walk to your car, then go back and physically pick up your child and move them where you want them. DO NOT speak to them and try not to make eye contact. The reason is to not give them any unnecessary attention for this behavior. 
I’ll give you more examples of physical discipline another time.

4. Time to talk: When an adult is irate or out of control we do not engage in conversation or relationships with them. Teach children this concept. It’s time to talk when they have calmed down. But do not lecture. Here’s what to say…

5. Compassion: You are not the bad guy. Their behavior is the bad guy. Show them this by expressing genuine sadness for their behavior and sympathy for the consequences that will follow. Say, “That was so sad. I love going to the park with you. I am so sad that we can’t go back for a very long time.”
Use compassion to place the blame on their behavior and not on you is great and I’ll tell you more in another post.

6.Consequences that fit the crime: Make the punishment apply directly to the behavior as much as possible. Example; Set up a time very soon (preferably the next day) to suggest going to the park and then “remember” their tantrum from last time. Say, “Oh man! I am so sad! I really wanted to go to the park but we can’t because you yelled so much. Darn.” Repeat this at least two different times.

7. Try again: Go back to the park at some point and repeat steps 1-5 until you have your sweet wonderful child back. Once is often enough.

 I still say the "Do you want to leave now or in 5 minutes?" and I still walk away after I say its time to go because those two principles apply forever. I always want to give them control where I can and I still want them to know I just expect them to do what I say. 

Yay! for happy kids!

Kitchen Table and Chairs MAKEOVER

BEFORE

AFTER

Got the table free from a friend. It was totally beat up and awesome and stained and scratched.  Weighed a ton so I knew it was a keeper.  But I only had 4 mismatched Ikea chairs that went with it.  We are a family of 5, and the 2 year old, Gabriel, decided to grow out of his high chair.  He's a beast. See the Ikea chairs (and the beast) below in these super high quality photos.   

 

 

We happily added to the damage as best we knew how.

 

 

Now, I'm not one to go out all willy-nilly buyin' up chairs.  I periodically checked Craigslist until I found the perfect set of restaurant chairs. See below.  Note my chanda-leah.  Yeah, we spray painted that orange.  I know, right?  I promise I will tell you that story soon.

 

I bought 7 chairs for $30. (One for the 'desk' on the other side of the kitchen). They just happened to match perfectly with the wood of the table, which sadly was of no importance since I was fixin' to give it a kick ace makeover!

 

THE HORRIBLE PROCESS...

 

I planned on a two-tone table: gray top and white bottom. (The colors match the cabinets I did. Yes, I will tell you that story too).  I like the diamond wood pattern in the table top so I planned to stain the top so I could still see that pattern.  

 

*You cannot stain wood without removing every bit of previous lacquer. 

 

I carried it out to the garage (with the 'help' of my 7 year old) and started sanding with an electric sander. Muscle would have made it easier, but I don't have that, so it pretty much sucked to do this part. Sorry no pics of that step.  I wasn't in the mood. Then I flipped the table over (Just like that. Just flipped it over. Ffflip. So not easy.)  and sanded the legs.  Luckily I was going to PAINT the legs.

 

*Painting does not require every bit of previous lacquer to be removed.

 

 Then, I primed them with spray primer and painted them white with gloss spray paint. All Krylon brand. 

 

*I used about 1 can of primer and 2 cans of white paint just for the table. 

 

Then I flipped it back over and stained the top.

 

 

  I wiped off extra stain in the diamond to really show it off.

 

Then I put 5, yes FIVE coats of good old fashioned polyurethane on the top.  Only 2 or three were recommended, but I wanted it to really last.  I scrub the bejesus outta this table at least 3 times daily.  It was shiny and perfect when finished. 

 

But I still had a LOT of work ahead...

 

A few weeks later...

I took the ugly green cushions off the chairs, scrubbed the wood, hand sanded each chair, used a spray primer (about 3-4 cans for all 7 chairs), then spray painted them the same gloss white.

 

*1 can of spray paint per chair.

 

 I did one chair that 'citronella' (Sherwin Williams) color to match the kitchen door that leads to the garage (which you can see in the picture below).  I painted that one chair with a brush. 

 

*Wear a mask and cover anything in the garage that you don't want to be painted with a white powder like your bicycles and strollers...Yeah, I didn't do that.

 

VERY IMPORTANT RECOMMENDATION, LISTEN UP

 

*If I had to do it all over again, I would NOT use spray paint.  I would hand paint.  The only benefit to spray paint is that you don't see brush strokes.  It looks all straight- outta-the-factory-super-professional.  But MAN, I used a LOT of spray paint.  And even when I was DONE, done there were areas I noticed that didn't get fully covered.  No one else will ever see them... but I do. And that's all that matters. Besides, the ONE chair I did hand paint (the greenish yellow) the paint hasn't chipped AT ALL. It's been several months now and there are areas that are chipping from normal wear. But NOT the hand painted one. Learn from this. Lesson over.

 

Continuing on...   

 

Then I bought a polyacrylic to finish off the chairs and the white part of the table. 

 

*Polyacrylic is a perfectly clear finish, but not as durable as Polyurethane. 

 

*Polyurethane yellows slightly over time but is surprisingly more resistant.

 

I used the polyacrylic for the white part because I didn't want the yellowing to stand out so much over the white.  The gray I felt it wouldn't be as noticeable.

 

Next...(yes, there is more)

 

 I had to do the cushions.  Ugh, it's making me itch thinking about this project.  Yeah, I could have just chosen a plain color vinyl that would have served just as well, but when I saw this fabric I wanted to marry it. So, I did it the hard way and also bought 16 gauge clear vinyl to go over the fabric.  So...I had to cover the cushions TWICE each.  Once with fabric, once with vinyl.

 

2 covers X 7 chairs = throbbing headache

 

*Get a poor schlep to help you out with this part. Doesn't matter who, just call someone in off the street. No one should cover chair cushions alone. No one.

 

My mother and I used a hair dryer to warm the vinyl so we could stretch it and fit them all snug-like.  Used a staple gun for the fabric and vinyl.

 

Did each chair, took forever, swore, wanted to kill myself, yada, yada.  Then screwed all the cushions back on and screw holes didn't match up and what-have-you. Then...

 

Ta Da!!

 

 

 

 

 

Tell me you love it or else!

 

I want to know what YOU'RE working on.